This is the review for the second installment of John Mayer’s The Search for Everything. You can read part one here.
Our boy’s back at it again! Or should I say, our main Man, Mayer is holding up his promise of pile driving our ear pussies with his monthly update of 4 new sweet jams from his The Search for Everything album. YES, every god damn month, we will be graced with 4 new tracks. That’s like 48 songs… which is like 4 albums in one glorious year. And for all those lucky peoples with tickets to The Search for Everything Tour, these 4 new songs are a taste of what is to come… only you guys will get to listen live. WOW. I’m already wet with sweet envious empathy.
Since this release of The Search for Everything: Wave Two EP is so damn fresh, it’s gonna be a little difficult to review the songs with much depth so I’m just gonna list some first impressions to the songs’ surely amazing beats and wonderful lyrics. To begin, I say this album cover for Wave Two is gorgeous; it’s got a beautiful drawing of a lady with feathers floating around her. It follows the theme of Wave One’s drawing of Mayer with his “sexy melancholy look into the distance” while surrounded by flower patterns. Amazing. Props to the artist behinds these portraits, soeymilk. Really cute name by the way.
John Mayer’s latest release – “The Search for Everything: Wave Two.”
“The Search for Everything: Wave One”
“Still Feel Like Your Man” – It intros with pianos, some cymbals, layers of Mayer going off about still feeling like your man, and even some bells… and then Mayer goes straight to the point with that sexy electric guitar.
[Verse 1]
The prettiest girl in the room she wants me
I know because she told me so
She says come over
I’d like to get to know you
But I just don’t think I can
Wow, this be how Mayer gets them panties wet with the subtle art of exclusiveness. Make ‘em want you by being unavailable. Everybody wants that chocolate they can’t have, especially your dog fido. Please don’t feed fido chocolate no matter how much he begs. Yet obviously, Mayer is supposedly still into this other chick, which brings back mems of his recent release of “Moving On and Getting Over.” But is he really though? Is he really still trying to get over her so he can’t be with this new lady? Or is it still part of the game? Oh sweet Mayer, no matter how many times you tell us your secrets, there’s no way we are gonna be able to implement them like you do. We can’t all be geniuses.
God damn, that chorus is catchy. I still feel like your man…
[Verse 2]
I still keep your shampoo in my shower
In case you wanna wash your hair (the strings here are genius)
And I know that you probably found yourself someone somewhere
But I do not really care (again with the give no fucks, wow)
‘Cause as long as it is there
[Bridge]
Still like the letters in your name and how they feel, babe
Still think I’m never gonna find another you
Still like to leave the party early and go home, babe
And don’t you know, babe
I’d rather sit here on my own and be alone, babe
This bridge here is so god damn full of sexual tension melodically, he must have had only one intention here. “I’m gonna use this to fuck all the ladies I’ve ever been with again, whether it be Katy Perry, sweet Taylor Swift, or the goddess, Jennifer Aniston. ‘Cause let’s be real, no matter how much they hate me for being a grade A douche… I feel and they feel like I’m their man… ‘cause I’m the man. And I’m basically everyone’s man. Ima fuck allll the ladies. And those dudes too, I’m looking at you Harry Styles. And James Bay ain’t safe either.” Yo Mayer, can you just calm your sex drive a little, your songs… they’re out of control with desire. Like shit, every rift gets me going. I get it now. The Search for Everything is actually the search for everything that gets people wet so that Mayer can enslave humanity as his sex objects. Wow, I gotta say it again, this evil spawn of Satan is a genius.
***
“Emoji of a Wave” – This one comes in hard with that acoustic guitar. Don’t you ever stop following your passion of earthy sounds. Paradise Valley was not a mistake… it was a God-graced blessing from the heavens.
[Verse 1]
Oh honey
You don’t have to try so hard
To hurt me
Don’t worry
I been thinking bout you too
What do we do
Why is she purposely hurting him? But he’s saying don’t worry because he’s been having similar thoughts… so maybe they both are looking to breakup.
[Pre-Chorus]
Your heart is where my head should be
The dissonance is killing me
It breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
But he’s still got feelings for her… and so he doesn’t want it to end like this. Ah, the confusion.
But back to the melody…Yessssssssss, the pressure here is just right, keep it coming, Mayer.
[Chorus]
Oh honey
Oh honey
It’s just a wave
It’s just a wave
And I know
That when it comes
I just hold on
I just hold on
The vocal harmonies combined with the violins here though got me feeling things… such as the wetness of my panties.
[Verse 2]
Oh honey
I been talking to myself (Okay…)
Just to hear you
And you’re saying (Wow…)
Everything I wish you would
And it’s so good
(Um… I mean I guess? Spilling out his heart here. Or perhaps Mayer is imaging his honey letting himself down easy from the relationship.)
Again, the pre-chorus sets up that intense chorus. And just like an ocean wave, the buildup from the soft verse and pre-chorus creates a huge momentum for the catchiest part of the song. Basic… yet so very lovely.
[Pre-Chorus]
It’s raining on the mission bell (What the fuck does that even mean?)
They’re draining out the wishing well
It breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
Is he alluding to hopelessness in the romance? As in, when the water is gone, can you even make any more wishes? But if it’s raining on the bell and the well is near then it may be overflowing! But the rain may be all the drops of conflict that go against the relationship. So… they’re draining the well so that the couple can still make wishes to have a chance to repair the relationship. Or… he’s just saying nonsense in order to rhyme.
[Chorus]
Oh honey
Oh honey
It’s just a wave
It’s just a wave
And I know
That when it comes
I just hold on
I just hold on
Great instructions on how to take your song in Mayer… just hold onto your arms as you roll over us with your sweet waves of musical loving.
[Bridge]
I rose on you like morning light
In shuttered dream we’ll sleep at night
It breaks my heart
It takes all the love I have to say
I know we’re gonna be ok
It breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
Yeah… my conclusional (Editor’s note: Is that even a word?) interpretation to this metaphorical mess of a song is that Mayer is breaking up with a lady and that he’s comforting her and himself. Mayer’s like, “Baby, I’ve been with so many wonderful lovers that it’s basically been an ocean current of lovers… and I know how it goes down. You’re gonna be okay. Since you survived this mess of a wave that is me, you’re gonna come out stronger than before. You might write a couple of songs about how I’m a piece of shit, but don’t worry… it’s all good.”
[Chorus]
Oh honey
Oh honey
It’s just a wave
It’s just a wave
And I know
That when it comes
I just hold on
Until it’s gone
OR, Mayer is just metaphorically referencing sex with the Emoji of a wave. Cause you know… apparently, all Emojis mean sex these days… God damn heathens you all are, you millennials, every single one of you. Just disgusting filthy sex animals… just like the Mayer.
***
“Helpless” – Woah, this one here feels like a classic Mayer. Like early Room for Squares Mayer. It even has a sexy fuck guitar solo at 1:42 that lasts til about 2:25. Though apparently, this was written in 2013 for Born and Raised but it was scrapped since it didn’t really follow that album’s earthy country theme. This one may have been a little too on the edge.
[Verse 1]
The same drink that gets me out the door
Is the same drink that puts me on the floor
And the new thing I wanna try some more
Is the same mistake I used to make before
Damn, if you can’t tell that the new thing you wanna really do is the same lame thing you did before… then you really are helpless. But really, I guess people are just bound to make their same mistakes… especially for men who just think with the wrong head, a.k.a. their penis.
[Chorus]
If I’m helpless tell me now
Tell me now
If I’m helpless tell me now
Tell me now
If I’m helpless tell me now
Tell me now
And I’ll stop trying to figure it out
Mayer, you already know you’re helpless. You’re just using the fact that no one is telling you as an excuse so you can continue those same mistakes with your helpless self. We all know you just want the poutine. That good Canadian cheesy curds and gravy over your french fries kind of poutine. You know that shit be heart attack inducing and yet you still indulge. For shame, buddy. For shame…
[Verse 2]
The same brain that brings me ecstasy
Is the same pain that gets the best of me
And the one I love the most just said to me
A broken heart is all I’ll ever be
And ain’t that human condition… to receive both joy and suffering… all from the same source, our minds. And even our companions will reinforce that condition by hurting us despite giving us reasons to love them. Hahhh, the sense of self is ever changing yet it is always tethered to its originator. So even though one can try to change their habits and thought patterns, a person will not forget what brings them joy or sorrow and thus it is never easy to avoid the same motives that keep a person helpless to making the same mistakes. God damn, Mayer is such a poet.
***
“Roll It on Home” – This one is so god damn country, it definitely belongs on Paradise Valley. Can you hear the twangs on Mayer’s guitar? Like sweet baby Jesus.
[Verse 1]
One last drink to drink wishful thinkin’
And then another again
The bar is getting brighter
And the walls are closin’ in
Journey on the jukebox singin’
Don’t let the believin’ end
The one that you had eyes for
Had their eyes for your best friend
Holy shit, this one is so real. Must be addressing the homies he drinks with.
[Pre-Chorus]
Nobody’s gonna love you right
Nobody’s gonna take you in tonight
Finish out the bottle or step into the light
And roll it on home
[Chorus]
Roll it on home
Roll it on home
Tomorrow’s another chance you won’t go it alone
If you roll it on home
[Verse 2]
The last ten texts were with your ex
And all of ’em were sent by you (Wow, he knows the thirst can get real. But how? )
But you keep starin’ at your phone like something’s comin’ through
Come to grips and take your chips when the cards aren’t goin’ your way
You’ve been here so long tonight’s already yesterday
His advice is universal as fuck. This here is classic country for sure.
[Pre-Chorus]
Nobody’s gonna love you right
Nobody’s gonna take you in tonight
Finish out the bottle or step into the light
And roll it on home
[Chorus]
Roll it on home
Roll it on home
Tomorrow’s another chance you won’t go it alone
If you roll it on home
[Pre-Chorus]
Nobody’s gonna love you right
Nobody’s gonna take you in tonight
Drop a couple dollars, bum yourself a light
And roll it on home
No matter if you’re getting laid or not, you still gotta put that tip somewhere. Even le Douche de Mayer, has some manners to respect those that serve him.
***
And Mayer ends Wave Two of The Search for Everything with a literal closer. Simple but beautifully done. I cannot wait for March. I’m expecting a lot from Wave Three. Even though it’s pretty difficult and quite impressive to churn out quality work so often and so quickly, if anyone can do it, it’s gotta be our man, Mayer.
